random rants and raves

Once you have children, people seem to invade your personal life. Some stuff you don't care about: does the baby sleep through the night?; breast or bottle?; etc. Other stuff makes my blood boil. The one question that drives me to commit homicide is the seemingly harmless"So when are you going to have another one?"

Here is the short answer: possibly never. Of course, you can never say this to anyone. When you do, people often say 'never say never', 'you can't just have one' or 'you'll change your mind.' No, I won't. I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER CHILD!!!!

I have a lovely 19 month old son. He is beautiful, smart and generally a joy to be around. He is also aggressive, bad-tempered and petulant. Sometimes I frankly don't understand him and the things that he does. For example, why does someone have to make such a racket when he is tired? Why can't he go to sleep? When I am tired, I go to bed. I do not scream, cry and launch myself on the floor. That aside, even if we spent the days making daisy chains and singing lullabys, I still don't want anymore kids.

Besides the tremendous expense, I hated being pregnant. The first 3 months are hell because of nausea, the constant need to pee and the fatigue. The second 3 months are okay and as for the last 3 months, I'd rather spend them in Camp XRay than be heavily pregnant. Pregnancy takes a toll on the body like nothing else. You know how one day on Jupiter is like a month of Earth days? Well, then you know what each day of pregnancy is like.

I am also not a baby person. True, I love my own, but I was not one for picking up babies or even paying them that much attention before I had one. I didn't (and still don't) hate babies or children, I just wasn't interested.

I often come up with polite answers when people ask me why I don't want any more kids. ''I just love Calum so much that I don't have enough love left for another.'' Or, ''He's a handful and I don't want to have 2 in diapers.''

Here's the real answer: I want a career. Having a career right now is more important than having more children. I have one child. I am not going to be one of those women who wakes up at 45 and wants kids, knowing that my time is up. I am glad I had him while I was young and I can enjoy him. I like that I have ONE child that demands my attention and that I don't have to split myself between another person. Having one child as opposed to two or more means that I have some time to myself. It is hard enough to get a babysitter for Calum, it would be even harder to get one for Calum and his sibling.

I would never put anything before my son, including other children. I am not the stay-at-home type and I refuse to give up a career that hasn't even started to give my child a sibling he doesn't need or want. None of this makes me a bad person or a bad mother-if more people were honest about bringing kids in the world, perhaps the world would be better off.

So no more kids. When people ask me if I will have another, I will just smile and say no. When they ask why, I will politely say one child is more than enough. Besides, it works for China.

posted by scummymummy @ 5:22 pm